I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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