PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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