would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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