I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
