Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
