He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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