Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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