is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
