I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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