Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
