i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
