Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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