I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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