four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
