Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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