my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
