It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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