I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
