I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
