I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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