woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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