please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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