You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
