doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
