Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
