I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
