Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
