Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
