They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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