he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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