His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
