wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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