I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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