Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
