is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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