Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
