Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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