Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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