I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
