took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
