Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
