I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
