I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
