I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
