Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
