I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
