i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
