I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You pole danced in your parka.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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