Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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