let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
