playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
