drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
