Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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